My family and I recently went on a quick trip to Malta. It was an amazing visit where I was able to meet family that I had never met before. I felt a sense of peace meeting my family and I hope I get to see them again soon.
Anyway, over the last year or two I have been feeling like I’ve been caught in a frustrating place emotionally. I have had quite a few struggles, which I will delve into further in another post shortly. But basically I feel like I’ve been stuck. Stuck with a body and mind that’s not cooperating. Stuck with what I really want to do with my future. Stuck at home. Just stuck stuck stuck!
Now don’t get me wrong, I am also so grateful for so many things in my life. I have an amazing family, I’m on an adventure of a life time, I love being able to be home with my kids and sharing in so many of their milestones. But I feel like there is something missing, and what is most frustrating is I am not 100% sure what that thing is.
I don’t know if you have ever felt that way but it has been driving me a little crazy. I guess I have some idea but the journey to get there seems so overwhelming or impossible.
Getting to the point of this post. With all this going on in the background and my struggles at times consuming my thoughts, we hopped on a plane to Malta.
We had just boarded the plane and sat down. We were awaiting the ok to head out to the runway, and as that came through the plane started to go backwards away from the airport to then be able to go forwards towards the runway. As we were going backwards my 4 year old asked my husband “Daddy, why are we going backwards?” and at this point my husband replied with “the plane has to go backwards in order to go forwards….It has to do that so we don’t hit the airport”.
And just like that a light bulb went off in my head. Sometimes in life we feel like we are going backwards, that we are sinking, that we aren’t making progress. But in fact, we need to go backwards so that we can go forwards, and do so safely. It doesn’t mean we are failing or not making progress, in actual fact we need to go backwards before we can go forwards, other wise we might hit something.
I still have a long way to go on my journey, but I now believe that I need to go backwards for a while and focus on some of things that have led me to where I am. To peel back those layers a little so that my future is not weighed down by my past and insecurities. So that when I go forwards I won’t hit a road block but will head straight for a clear runway and ultimately the skies.